September 9, 2010 Guys To Avoid Askmen.com came up with this list: - The Needy Guy -- He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with her right away. - The Predictable Guy -- He follows formulas and never wants to do anything differently. - The Arrogant Guy -- He has a huge ego and he's condescending. He is also rude. - The Boorish Guy -- He doesn't try to hide the fact that he's checking out other women while in her presence. - The Cheap Guy -- He invites a woman to dinner and then subtly suggests they go Dutch. - The Arguer -- When he takes a woman out, he makes her feel like she's in debate class rather than on a date. - The Self-Righteous Guy -- This guy is very judgmental of others. - The Misogynist -- This guy makes no secret of his bitterness toward women. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

September 8, 2010 Things I've Learned If you're doing news on the radio and you quickly try to get in one last story, make sure it isn't about pheasant pluckers. Posted by Warvel at 10:00 AM

September 8, 2010 Grandparents Ain't What They Used To Be In my mind, grandparents are supposed to be old, wrinkled, white-haired beings. But I remember reading that the average grandparent now is 48 years old. Last night I was talking with a couple of women who had become grandparents much younger than that. Here's some other grandparent stats from "Family Circle:" - There are about 56 million grandparents in the U.S. - 1.9 million grandparents are responsible for being the sole caretakers for their grandchildren. - 8% of all U.S. children live with at least one grandparent. - 38% of grandparents say they'd happily look after their grandkids for more than two weeks. (P.S. I'm not a grandparent and I told Levi to keep it that way.) Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

September 7, 2010 Things I've Learned It's good to periodically recalibrate your life by putting things in the proper perspective. I thought of this when we ran a bit recently by the comedians, the Sklar brothers. They're identical twins and were talking about a case where doctors messed up the vasectomy of one of identical twin babies and the parents decided to raise that boy as a girl. Apparently it was an actual case and the "girl" never felt comfortable in her own skin so the parents eventually told the truth. The Sklar brothers' point was that they felt bad for the other boy because he'd never be able to complain about anything around his twin brother again..."Man, I had a long wait at the bank. Oh really? Was it as long as it was for me to find out I'm not a girl?" It was closer to home yesterday as Jessica and I took turns at the MDA telethon asking for donations and hanging out with and talking to people who've been dealt that card. It makes you think twice about complaining about your back pain when you've heard everything an 8 year old boy in a wheelchair has already been through in his life. But as I said, it's good to periodically recalibrate. At least it is for me. I just can't seem to go very long without falling back into complaining and then I need a new dose of reality. Then again, maybe that's normal. If you were always upbeat and positive people would be suspicious. Speaking of which, where's Jessica? I wonder what she's up to. This can't be good. Posted by Warvel at 9:00 AM

September 7, 2010 Wake Up! The National Sleep Foundation did a survey of 1,506 adults and here's what they found out: - Three quarters of the adults surveyed said they frequently have a sleep problem. Those problems include difficulty falling asleep, waking up too early and not being able to get back to sleep, snoring or waking up feeling unrefreshed. - Three-fourths said their partner has a sleep problem. The most common problem was snoring. - The average amount of sleep for an adult is 6.9 hours. Experts say adults should be getting a minimum of seven to nine hours of sleep a night. - Six in ten adult motorists say they've been behind the wheel while drowsy in the past year. Four percent reported having had an accident or near-accident because they were too tired or actually dozed off while driving. - Roughly a fourth of those surveyed who have partners said their sex life has been hurt because they've been too sleepy. The respondents said they had sex less often or lost interest because they were tired. - When disturbed by a partner's sleep problem, the other partner loses an average of 49 minutes of shut eye a night -- or 300 hours a year. - 26 percent are at risk for sleep apnea -- pauses in their breathing while asleep. - 70 percent of the respondents said their doctor has never asked them about their sleep habits. - More than half the respondents take a nap at least once a week. One third take naps two or more times a week. - 49 percent of males say they get more sleep than they need, compared to 37 percent of females. - 47 percent of the respondents said they stay up later than they planned or wanted to at least a few nights during the week. Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

September 2, 2010 Things I've Learned Sometimes it's fun to be a disappointment. Not with girlfriends, of course. That's not at all fun. They make you feel like a scolded puppy and you want to pee on the floor. No, I'm talking about those moments when you're the center of attention of a bunch of strangers. For example, the time I was walking off the ice during a hockey game at the civic center while being booed by a couple thousand people. (I had failed to win them all pizzas in a contest that involved some schmuck trying to put some pucks in the net from center ice.) Being booed by that many people isn't something that's experienced by everyone. Then there was that time at the old Ainsworth Field when I threw out the first pitch at a baseball game and it hit the net about 10 feet above the catcher's head. Levi was with me. He was around 3 or 4 and during those boos there were calls of, "Let the kid pitch! He'd be better!" Sports fans are an exuberant bunch. But the disappointment I get to enjoy every year is during Roar On The Shore. I'm always up at the casino for the gathering of bikers before the parade into town. They always want to me to ride in that, but I don't like being around that many bikers. I've been riding for almost 40 years. I know what I'm doing. In a parade like that the person next to me might have just started. It makes me nervous. So I sneak out just before the parade starts and cruise down Glenwood Park Avenue. There are hundreds of people in lawn chairs waiting to see thousands of bikes go by and when they hear me coming they all turn their heads to see if it started. Nope...it's just me. Being the let down is entertaining and I like to think I make it entertaining for them too. I give them the princess/parade wave as I go by. Seeing a biker do that isn't something that's experienced by everyone. Posted by Warvel at 10:00 AM

September 2, 2010 Guess What? Marrying Her Wasn't Enough! Unless you're lucky enough to be married to a woman named Kelli, AOL.com Living says women deserve six basic emotional commitments and you should talk about these "over and over again" before you even get engaged: - He is committed to learning everything he can about you. - He is committed to always trying to be a better mate by actively working on improving himself and getting rid of any unhealthy emotional habits. - He is committed to working hard to express his love through words and through affection, and to fulfill your needs. - He is committed to doing whatever it takes to make your relationship work. - He will work on problems by discussing them, and using books, tapes, counseling, or any other tools available to help your marriage. - He is committed to staying emotionally open in your relationship. He will communicate his feelings to you, let you know what's going on inside of him, and reach out, rather than push you away. (And people wonder why I'm still single...) Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM

September 1, 2010 Things I've Learned Your perspective of distance depends on whether you're the one traveling or not...and sometimes moms are way smarter than doctors. I learned this because when Levi was a baby he would go days without pooping so we took him to the family doctor. He decided that "to be on the safe side" we should see a specialist at Children's Hospital in Buffalo. Apparently there was a chance that he could be suffering from a disease in which a portion of the bowel doesn't move things along and that would require that section of bowel to be removed. So I took a day off and drove Levi and his mother to Buffalo. There was a lot of waiting but finally a doctor examined him...poked and pushed him a few times and told us to make a follow-up visit for the next week. We drove up the next week and a different doctor poked and pushed him a few times and told us to come back the following week. Of course I was already getting a little ticked by this and had vented about it at work. One of my buddies who came from a family of 10 kids came in the next day and said, "My mom said he's constipated. Give him Karo Syrup and water." I was like, "Uh, thanks, but we're seeing specialists and they think it might be something more." So we went back to Buffalo the next week and yet a different doctor came in...poked and pushed him a few times and said, "Bring him back in a week." That's when I politely said...at a somewhat higher decibel level, "You know what? I'm getting a little tired of this. We're coming here from Erie, Pennsylvania and this is our third trip to hear the exact same thing!" He said, "Well Erie's not that far of a drive." I said, "Good. Why don't you take a day off next week and drive down to examine him there?" That's when he apparently thought it would be a good idea to consult the other doctors. He came back and said...honest to God..."He's constipated. Give him Karo Syrup and water." I can't remember what his name was but I'm thinking it might have been Dick. Posted by Warvel at 9:00 AM

September 1, 2010 What's He Up To? According to "Cosmopolitan" these are signs he might be lying to you: - He wraps his ankle around the leg of a chair. - He suddenly puts his hands in his pockets. - He shrugs one or both shoulders. - He uses his index finger to rub just underneath his nose. - He tells you those pants don't make your butt look big. (Sorry. Cosmo didn't say that. I added it on my own.) Posted by Warvel at 2:00 AM